Tagged by Bee: The Alumni Meme

According to Bee, in the Alumni Meme one must write two paragraphs (only two?!?). One must be the nauseatingly upbeat, perky report about your own life -- the kind that some people send into their alumni rags... and the other must be a truthful translation -- a "franker, funnier one." (Bee acquired the meme from Michael C., of The Wonderful World of Nothing Worthwhile).

First, for the alumni rag:

Curmudgeon recently relocated his law practice to a new Undisclosed Location in Chicago's Loop. He wants all his classmates to know that he's accepting referrals in appellate work and insurance coverage cases and he'll be happy to work as co-counsel as well. Curmudgeon and his wife, Long Suffering Spouse, recently celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. They have five children.

Now, the English translation:

Curmudgeon's so desperate for work that he'll even contact his law school magazine, knowing full well that he'll immediately go on 10 different donation-begging lists. You'd think the school would realize that these kinds of submissions are really pleas for help -- but they're pretty dense over there. And throwing in the wife and kids bit! Could he be more obvious? Talk about an attempt to play the heartstrings! Why doesn't he just come out and say they need shoes, too?

I'd continue in this vein... but all of a sudden I've got this urge to send a note to my alumni magazine and I want to work on that this morning instead....

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I've been getting better about passing along tags... but, this time, I'll pass on passing. If you take up the challenge, leave me a comment: I'll be right over to take a look.