Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Tagged by Bee: The Alumni Meme

According to Bee, in the Alumni Meme one must write two paragraphs (only two?!?). One must be the nauseatingly upbeat, perky report about your own life -- the kind that some people send into their alumni rags... and the other must be a truthful translation -- a "franker, funnier one." (Bee acquired the meme from Michael C., of The Wonderful World of Nothing Worthwhile).

First, for the alumni rag:
Curmudgeon recently relocated his law practice to a new Undisclosed Location in Chicago's Loop. He wants all his classmates to know that he's accepting referrals in appellate work and insurance coverage cases and he'll be happy to work as co-counsel as well. Curmudgeon and his wife, Long Suffering Spouse, recently celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. They have five children.
Now, the English translation:
Curmudgeon's so desperate for work that he'll even contact his law school magazine, knowing full well that he'll immediately go on 10 different donation-begging lists. You'd think the school would realize that these kinds of submissions are really pleas for help -- but they're pretty dense over there. And throwing in the wife and kids bit! Could he be more obvious? Talk about an attempt to play the heartstrings! Why doesn't he just come out and say they need shoes, too?
I'd continue in this vein... but all of a sudden I've got this urge to send a note to my alumni magazine and I want to work on that this morning instead....

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I've been getting better about passing along tags... but, this time, I'll pass on passing. If you take up the challenge, leave me a comment: I'll be right over to take a look.

7 comments:

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

you are always such a good sport curmy...

big cheesy smiles, bee

tyvc

Jean-Luc Picard said...

A hilarious translation, Curmudgeon. Alumni are usually more favourable than reality.

sari said...

I think that is really, really funny.

I don't know if I could do so well...if I try, I'll let you know.

Linda said...

Good job, it sounds like the rest of the alumni at your school would be duly impressed!

Ralph said...

Maybe the rest of the alumni need to follow in your honest footsteps. I mean, some of these attorneys may have already spent their 33-1/3% on future cases, and need to plea bargain on their own behalf...or throw themselves on the mercy of the court...

rdl said...

this one sound interesting, like a truth or dare. just added it to my drafts, i'll let you know when i actually do it.

Skittles said...

The truth is funnier!