Tuesday, August 14, 2007

How to annoy people on elevators

This list of 22 things to annoy people on elevators was stumbled upon at this site.

These are a few of my favorites:

4) Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

* * *

6) Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of Them!" -- and back away slowly.

* * *

9) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. (Making whoopee cushion noises might be pretty annoying... or saying "beep" as if the button was a number on a cell phone keypad... but I think this one is truly worse.)

Any of these techniques might be particularly effective in a building like the one in which my Undisclosed Location is housed. This building has s..l..o..w elevators... elevators that take f..o..r..e..v..e..r to open up even after they've finally arrived on your floor.

5 comments:

Mother Jones RN said...

Men in the white coats will start looking for you if you act out in elevators, so be careful.

MJ

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

i love this idea. when i get back to florida i am so doing this! woo hoo!

smiles, bee

tyvc

sari said...

These are pretty funny. I know my son can't do his homework without making some kind of noise (explosions, sirens, popping noises) the whole time, so that one would be good for him.

katherine. said...

I've found most of the time just looking at other people in the eye on an elevator...and saying "hello" or "Good morning" makes everyone pretty damn uncomfortable.

susan said...

Hands down, my favorite is #5 (Meow occasionally). If I could just keep a straight face before, during or after the 1st utterance...