These are a few of my favorites:
4) Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
6) Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of Them!" -- and back away slowly.
9) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. (Making whoopee cushion noises might be pretty annoying... or saying "beep" as if the button was a number on a cell phone keypad... but I think this one is truly worse.)
Any of these techniques might be particularly effective in a building like the one in which my Undisclosed Location is housed. This building has s..l..o..w elevators... elevators that take f..o..r..e..v..e..r to open up even after they've finally arrived on your floor.