Heads or Tails #19 (Memorable Gift)

This week, Barb, the Nobel Prize winning inventor of Heads or Tails, the mysterious fuel additive that has dramatically increased gas mileage in several recent tests, asks us to talk about "a memorable gift."

There was one gift I really, really wanted one Christmas.

I can't remember exactly when this was... I was young... 10? 11? 9? Thinking about it, I can't remember which house we were living in: We moved when I was 11, so that would have been a big clue. I'm hoping this was at the old house; I could better plead my extreme youth as an excuse.

No, it wasn't a BB gun. (That's been done, anyway.)

I wanted a cane.

I can't remember, now, why I wanted one. I may have been in a Fred Astaire phase. It wasn't because of any physical problem.

I just wanted it, that's all.

And I got it: It wasn't a cane for white tie and tails, though. It was part cane, part shillelagh. But I was very pleased. And it's still around here somewhere....

Not a rollicking, hilarious story, though, is it? Well, there is the gift I didn't get....

It was my 16th birthday and my mother and father were already sitting down to breakfast. I was late, as usual.

I ran down the stairs but didn't go to the kitchen. Instead I threw open the front door and ran outside.

My parents were confused... but there was more to come.

I ran back in, glowing and breathless. "It's wonderful, it's exactly what I wanted!"

"What is?" they said.

"The car, the CAR," I cried. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! And with a bow, too," I embellished. "That was a nice touch."

"There's no car in the driveway with or without a bow on it," they said.

And, of course, they were right: There was no car there.

But I thought I was terribly amusing.... They just thought I was nuts.

And not for the first time, either.

I hope Santa brings what you ask for: Even if it's a little strange, you may get it, as long as it doesn't cost too much. Merry Christmas.