Thursday, May 17, 2007

A really Happy Meal -- or -- If the customers get the McMunchies, maybe they'll order more burgers

*Waving hands -- jumping up and down* What follows is an attempt at humor. Having said this you will (naturally) be predisposed to find it unfunny. But I don't want to get sued by any major McCorporation....

The Chicago Tribune ran an AP story yesterday about the arrest of "a 17-year-old fast food employee" in Ottawa, Illinois, a town about 80 miles southwest of Chicago.

It seems the young man in question hid "a lighter, pipe, and bag of marijuana" in a Happy Meal box. But he didn't stash his stash: He must have left it out in the open. A customer of the McRestaurant in question ordered dinner for himself and this three children -- and his 8-year-old daughter received the Happy Happy Meal instead of the burger she'd requested.

Dad confiscated the box and its contents and went to the police. And *stressing the point here with emphatic hand gestures* the AP story makes abundantly clear that the restaurant in question "cooperated with the investigation that led to the arrest."

Still... competition in the fast food industry is pretty fierce... and the national chains are jockeying for market share any way they can. I mean you can only get so much positive PR about offering "salads" or "wraps." At some point, you gotta boost the burger sales, right?

I remember the kids insisting on eating terrible fast food just to get their sticky little fingers on the plastic movie-tie-in toy enclosed therewith. What would a slightly older crowd do if word got out that there might be a Happy Hash Pipe enclosed with every 100th meal? And, if word got around, where would these sorts of people go when they were overtaken by the munchies? All the chains are advertising late night drive-throughs these days....

I'd name a couple of places whose business would probably be severely hurt by such a McMarketingMove... but, then, I'd just get into trouble with more corporations, wouldn't I?


sari said...

Gosh, and all *we* got yesterday was a talking Shrek and Puss In Boots.

susan said...

The night-shift McManager at the joint that I worked at in high school had a regular side business working out the drive-thru window. It *only* took me a week to realize that those customers requesting "extra cabbage" were bound to get a little special attention from Chuckie as he personally handed them their orders.