Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Epidural

Long Suffering Spouse and I have been blessed with five children. When the delivery of each of them was imminent, my wife hoped to receive "an epidural."

This was the magic medicine could transform the stress and strain of labor into a truly blessed event.

I wouldn't know for sure.

You see, each time, Long Suffering Spouse's labor progressed so rapidly that the moment in which the magic epidural could be safely administered came... and went... and on each of these occasions Long Suffering Spouse, her face twisted into a mask of pain and rage, cried out, "DRUGS!! I WANT DRUGS!!!"

So we arrive at the hospital last week for my surgery, and we began to learn some of the details. The anesthesiologist explained that I would have an epidural. "It's the Cadillac of pain management," he said. He looked like he's about Older Daughter's age.

"I wouldn't know," I told him, "but I think to keep peace and harmony in the family, I'd better not." I briefly explained why.

"It just figures," said Long Suffering Spouse, playing along.

I think one of the nurses was becoming concerned that we were really going to veto the suggested anesthetic.

As if.

I was forced to disclose my allergy to penicillin at every step along the way. But the thing to which I'm most allergic is pain! Did they think this would help? Then I was wholly and sincerely in favor of it. I'll have to figure out how to square it with Long Suffering Spouse some other way.

10 comments:

katherine. said...

I missed out on the "cadillac of pain management" as well.

sounds like your doing well!

OddMix said...

My Dear Wife was given the "Cadillac of pain management" four times - three times it worked very well indeed. The first time... not so much.

I too am severely allergic to avoidable pain. Epidural? Sedation? Pain management? Bring it on.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

A good description of an epidural!

Lahdeedah said...

Had the epidural both times.

WOOOHOOO. Never give birth without it...

I'm glad to see you're "back, sort of..."

I'm allergic to pain, the smell of pain, the sound of pain, the sight of pain, the potential for pain and the thought of any real or even imagined pain...

Lahdeedah said...

Had the epidural both times.

WOOOHOOO. Never give birth without it...

I'm glad to see you're "back, sort of..."

I'm allergic to pain, the smell of pain, the sound of pain, the sight of pain, the potential for pain and the thought of any real or even imagined pain...

Where fibers meet mud said...

In the day the prevailing thought was to deliver those children "Naturally" What the heck was this flower power child thinking - and I was finished having babies by the time Epidurals were vogue and used universally.

So I hope you enjoyed the cadilac.

I have used the pain pump for some "womanly surgery" and found that to be a life saving experience. I now ask for it by name when faced with surgical choices.

Glad you are back at the key board - life without your stories was rather dull and dull!

Rest and recover - I hear that baseball season is coming to a neighborhood near you - right after all that snow melts!

Shelly Franz said...

I'm going to condense three posts worth of comments into one, here, in the interests of brevity and restraining my natural sense of humor to avoid belly laughs. As everyone else has said, I'm glad you're back. I made it through two "natural" births, no epidural because we were doing this with no insurance and epidurals are, evidently, the province of the insured only. Glad you got one though, I have a feeling that what you went through would have been more painful than childbirth. You seem to be feeling pretty good, so I'm glad about that...feel free to vent, gripe, curmudgeon etc.; no stiff-upper-lip stuff required here...
Shel

sari said...

I had an epidural once, it was worth it though I think it actually slowed down my labor. But at the time, I was very glad to have it.

I'm allergic to penicillin as well, it's funny for such a "common" allergy, you're the first person I've ever met who also was allergic too.

Mother Jones RN said...

I was like your LLS. My children arrived so quickly that my doctor never gave me any medications. He told me each time that the baby would arrive before the medications had a chance to kick in.
Crap!

I think that LLS will forgive you for taking the medications, but I'm sure she'll be holding this over your head for the rest of your married life.

AMAZING GRACIE said...

I also had three epidurals, but the second one caused a week-long migraine because the nurse gave me a pillow way too soon.
I think the LLS is entitled to a nice bauble of her choosing.