At least you won't have to declare that on your taxes.
Today's contest concerns Halloween music.
Many of you will be going to or hosting Halloween parties this weekend and next and, you'll be wondering... what music should we play?
Don't be misled by the music you're hearing at the local mall these October days: "Jingle Bells" and "Sleigh Ride" are not recognized Halloween anthems.
And you just can't play Michael Jackson's "Thriller" all night -- no matter how much you like the Vincent Price rap.
Your party will be a "graveyard smash" the first time you bring out Bobby "Boris" Pickett's "Monster Mash."
And maybe even the second time, too.
But it will be a short party if all you have are two tunes on the playlist.
Ray Parker, Jr.'s theme for the movie Ghostbusters will, you should pardon the expression, spark some life into your party.
But then what?
What other creepy, kooky, scary songs for Halloween are there?
And, now, you have the premise of today's little exercise.
Scary, scary witches are appropriate for Halloween... though perhaps not the soundtrack of either Wicked or The Wizard of Oz.
How about Redbone's "Witch Queen of New Orleans?" Or Donovan's "Season of the Witch?" I would include the Chairman of the Board, Ol' Blue Eyes himself, Frank Sinatra singing "Witchcraft." (I don't think that this should be "strictly taboo" -- c'mon, admit it, you're starting to hum along now, aren't you?)
But that's still not enough music for your party no matter how strong the punch, right?
So... how about "Midnight Stroll" by the Revels?
I had to pass the cemetery gate
The sky was dark and the moon was bright
It was a very, very, cold, cold night
I never thought I could see such a sight
A poor soul doing the dead mans stroll...
Wikipedia confirms, believe it or not, that this charted in 1959.
There are the "Teenage Tragedy" songs... like Ray Peterson's "Tell Laura I Love Her."
Cruising the Internet this morning, I found this video of Jumpin' Gene Simmons 1964 classic, "Haunted House." Now for all of us old enough to remember 45 RPM records this is, possibly, the most boring video ever:
Yes, we merely see the record playing.
Of course, the young people may be fascinated to see an actual demonstration of an ancient and rapidly vanishing technology. And, if one of your kids or grandkids has the nerve to actually say something like that to you, I hope you'll smack 'em one for me, too.
Anyway... now it's your turn. Who can come up with the best additions to this playlist?
Please note: I am not asking for songs that are scary because they're awful. This immediately excludes the catalogs of both Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner. Put that out of your mind entirely.
And please remember, the decision of the judges (well, judge, since I'll decide this contest, if at all, entirely on my own) will be final and may be arbitrary and capricious.
Trick or treat.