In my more rational moments I realize that this is virtually impossible; my chances of winning the lottery are probably much better. I even quoted (in a this 2006 post) author P.N. Elrod -- who was quoting author Rachel Caine: "Posting your novel (or blog) on the 'Net in the hopes that a big-time editor (or agent) will see it is like writing the perfect résumé and then tacking it to the front door of your house, hoping your future boss will walk by."
2006: This was during my stalking-authors-I'd-never-read period on the Internet.
But, anyway, my slumbering dreams of Internet fame were rekindled, just a bit earlier this week, when I got an unusual comment on my July 10 post about my apprehensions of dealing with the photographer at my daughter's wedding.
See, the comment wasn't in English. So I could invent just about any meaning I wanted for it. Here it is:
出会い said...Now, if there's anything in the above and foregoing that is scurrilous (as the late Mayor Harold Washington used to say) I apologize deeply. I admit that I don't understand a word.即ハメセレブは完全無料でご利用できる出会いコミュニティです。今までにない実績で、あなたの希望に合った人をお探しします。毎月考えられない豪華なイベントを開催しているので出会いを保障します
I know blog pages can be read in translation... but most of my posts barely work in English. I can't imagine how they'd read in machine-translated... what? Japanese? Korean? Chinese? In my ignorance I am not even sure of the language in which the comment was written.
The name of the commenter was linked... so I clicked on it... and the web page that loaded had flashing symbols I couldn't read and pictures of six girls... Asian girls, and not in lurid poses either. It looked like you might click on any of the pictures. I did not.
Nevertheless, the thought occurred to me that perhaps this was not a comment from a new fan in Asia... but possibly spam. Maybe even spam for some sort of, um, er, adults-only type site.
Have you ever thought about how inappropriate the term 'adults-only' is? At least in how it's usually used, the term refers to places... websites... magazines... movies... where we can momentarily satisfy our juvenile curiosities, or our carnal cravings... which sure isn't very grown-up when you think about it.
But I digress.
I left the comment in place -- no sense offending a new fan even if I couldn't understand the comment -- and, a couple days later, there was another one:
救援部 said...Now it's possible,of course, that 救援部 was registering agreement or disagreement with the opinion left by 出会い about my post. But now my doubts were growing.夏真っ盛り！女の子は開放的な気分で一人Hしたくてウズウズしてるっ！貴方は女の子のオ○ニーを見て気分を高めてあげてネ！もちろん、お手伝いしてもオッケーだよ！さぁ、今すぐ救援部にアクセスしよっ
This time I didn't even click on the linked name. Less than 24 hours later came this comment:
メル友 said...There was also a web address provided in Western characters. I chose not to copy that here.プロフ作成記念に嬉しくなって写メも載せちゃいましたぁ。皆さん見てください。できればメールの方に感想なども欲しいなぁ！夏休みなので暇してます
Don't bother looking for the comments in situ. I've deleted them all. My fear of carrying spam links trumped my hopes of conquering the vast Asian blog-reading market.
Another opportunity lost to cowardice?