Do you really want to give 110%?

This was in my email recently and I thought it was worth sharing. Of course, I had to check the figures first....

NB: The language in today's post is slightly coarser than usual -- but apparently consistent with prime-time TV standards. Sadly.


What constitutes 100% effort? Have you ever wondered about those people who claim they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to meetings where someone has exhorted us to give more than 100%... what are they really asking of us? How can we achieve 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26,

then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K may be represented as 8-1-18-4-23-15-18-11.

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

Got the pattern?

Well,

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E =

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

and

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E =

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%.

However,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T =

2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

and

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G =

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 127%

Thus, we can conclude, with mathematical certainty, that hard work and knowledge will get you close, but it's attitude that will take you to 100%. To get more than 100% you need to engage in bullshit or ass kissing.

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The individual who sent me this email advised that he got it from two math teachers who, together, have nearly 70 years of teaching experience. So it must be true, right?