Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Hip checks on the subway

I catch the 'el' (which, on my particular line, is elevated only over a small portion of its run) fairly near O'Hare Airport; the trains are usually pretty empty when they pull into my station and I can almost always get a window seat.

That means, as the train fills up, someone must choose to sit next to me.

This frequently results in a territorial struggle.

Now, granted, I am not a small person. I do not spill over, however, into the adjoining seat; I fit within, if snugly so, the 'footprint' of the contoured seat. Except it's not a 'footprint,' of course; it's a 'buttprint,' I suppose, if it's anything -- but that sounds rude.

Anyway, when someone sits next to me on the train, he or she almost always hip checks me: We sit cheek to cheek, as it were.

When the new arrival is a large person, man or woman, such intimacy is understandable... and, of course, unintended. And when the new arrival is a comely young lady, the contact, I will concede, is not entirely unwelcome.

But it always happens: Old or young, large or small, each new arrival shoves me into the wall. I scrunch up and over, thinking thin thoughts, and often reestablish a millimeter or two of personal space -- but a significant percentage of new occupants insist on continuing to press. Why is this?

4 comments:

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

well first of all i read the title as "hip chicks" and thought, uh oh, curmy is on the loose but not so... and to answer your question, i have no idea. sorry...

smiles, bee
tyvc

Jean-Luc Picard said...

When smaller seats are made, this happens!

Dave said...

Why? Your parents brought you up right and you're from the Midwest. It's better to suffer a bit than to inconvenience another person.

And you made me think about protocol on a plane. If you are on the inside or outside of the three seat section, isn't it proper not to put your elbow on the armrest of the person stuck in the middle?

shell said...

My guess is...it must be that irresistible cologne (or soap scent) you are wearing... J/K.

It may be that they are trying to avoid the crowded aisle. Logically, I rather scoot inwards than to have my face stuck against someone else's butt (that "someone else" hanging dearly onto the aisle pole).

BTW, "Buttprints" -- that's hilarious!