I can't help but imagine the shock with which this news will be received in some conference rooms....
We take you now to the conference room / lunchroom at imaginary mega-firm Smith, Wesson, Dow & Jones. The china and the remains of the pheasant having been cleared away, the management committee turns to the urgent business at hand....
SMITH: My secretary -- er, my assistant brought this to my attention this morning.
JONES: ABA Journal, you say? I don't remember reading anything about this in this month's issue.
DUDLEY (a junior member): No, sir, it was online.
JONES: Whose line?
SMITH: No, Barnaby, he means it was on that Intertubes thingamajig.
DUDLEY: Internet, sir. Internet. We have positioned ourselves in the market as a high-tech, 21st Century firm, responding to client needs with the latest technology --
AGNEW (senior to Dudley): Can the speech, Dudley, there's no clients here. (To Jones) It's the computer stuff, Barnaby, the gizmos that the kids use. (Gestures in Dudley's direction.)
JONES: Oh. That.
SMITH: The point is that this could undermine our entire business model. Does this case apply to us? We need a memo. (Pause.) Get Higgins in here.
DUDLEY: Laid off, sir.
SMITH: Oh. Longbottom?
DUDLEY: Document review in (consults laptop) Phoenix.
SMITH: Phoenix in August? Capital. How about Smedley?
DUDLEY: Maternity leave. (Watching Smith's reaction) We have a policy on this, sir --
AGNEW: We have to. It's the law.
SMITH: If you say so.
DUDLEY: While we've been talking, I've scanned the opinion. It seems the lawyer in Ohio billed the juvenile court for more than 24 hours on at least three occasions --
AGNEW: Billed the same client more than 24 hours in a day?
AGNEW: Well, we'd never let that happen, eh, gentlemen?
(Smith and Jones make appropriate harrumphing noises.)
SMITH: Problem solved, then. Crisis averted. (Turning to intercom) You can bring in the dessert cart now.