Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Curse of the Curmudgeon strikes again

Yesterday on this very website I announced I'd be cheering for Notre Dame in last night's BCS Championship Game. By the second quarter, Kirk Herbstreit was wishing the Northern Illinois Huskies were playing instead of the "Fighting" Irish. (At least in the Orange Bowl, Herbstreit thought to himself, NIU seemed to be trying.) The only Notre Dame fans who were able to watch last night's debacle with any equanimity were affiliated with the Kroc Institute for International Peace Studies (it's OK to let that Tide roll all over you, boys; violence is not the answer).

It's all my fault, and I'm sorrier than I can say.

If I support a candidate, he or she will lose.

If I like a product, it will be taken off the market. Or recalled.

If I like a store, it will shortly thereafter go out of business.

I still don't know how the White Sox won the World Series in 2005. Of course, I wasn't blogging here then. I was barely even breathing. I'd 'watch' the games with my back turned, barely stealing a glance at the TV, mostly when Tim McCarver said something stupid. (That meant I hurt my neck from twisting around so often.) My wife got me the DVD set of all the 2005 White Sox playoff games so I can watch them some time with my eyes open. I'm still afraid to.

Talk about your negative superpowers. I'd put myself up for bid to some major corporation to "like" its competitors into bankruptcy but I'm afraid (and any potentially interested mega-corporation should likewise be afraid) that my negative powers might boomerang and hurt the company that hired me. (Note to self: If a mega-corporation tries to hire me for my ability to 'like' a competitor into oblivioun, be sure to get the cash up front.)

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