Monday, September 24, 2012

Curmudgeon not a grandfather yet... but soon?

The headline, I suppose, could be that Long Suffering Spouse was wrong in guessing we'd be grandparents by this morning. (I reported her prediction here last Thursday.)

This could be the headline because it is 'news' in the 'man bites dog sense': News, in this commonly accepted view, is not just 'what happens' but what happens and is also unusual. What's unusual here is that my wife appears to have been mistaken.

That hardly ever happens.

But, as always, there are extenuating circumstances. Last week I told you that Olaf's job interview had gone well, so well that his prospective employers wanted him back for another interview as soon as the next day (Friday).

Friday proved too soon for the person-who-needed-to-sign-off-on-Olaf; he was just back at work after an illness and he needed more time to catch up. So the interview was postponed until this morning. That gave Younger Daughter a strong incentive to wait.

Not that you can turn these things on or off, of course, not consciously -- but, well, attitudes and expectations probably have more to do with these things than science can prove.

We were joking yesterday that -- given the importance of Olaf securing gainful employment -- Younger Daughter wouldn't actually tell him she was in labor (even if she was) until after the interview was concluded. Younger Daughter thought that a splendid idea; Olaf was not nearly as amused.

Nevertheless, it got me thinking.

There's lots of things that Long Suffering Spouse shields me from for as long as possible. Long Suffering Spouse operates (sometimes) on the theory that I have enough trouble focusing on things I'm supposed to without worrying about this relative or that one. So I sail on in blissful ignorance -- or at least fret about only one thing at a time.

Today (no surprise here) my major concern is financial. I have, by my count, $11 and change in my checking account. I have a charge card bill due today with a $12,000+ balance; the minimum payment is only $166. "Only." It might as well be the whole $12,000+ because I can't pay the big amount or even the little one unless a check comes in the mail. I'm waiting for one at home and one here. And there's another card due tomorrow and phone bills and....

Well, you know the story. It's one all of us have in common, to greater or lesser extents, from time to time (Mitt Romney excepted, I suppose).

Anyway, it occurred to me that Long Suffering Spouse might not even bother to tell me when Younger Daughter's labor begins lest I lose focus on the crisis du jour. I'm downtown now. I'm not at all useful: I'm a good hour away by train, counting the walk home from the station. I could come home tonight and (eventually) notice that Younger Daughter was absent. "Where is everybody?" I might ask.

Long Suffering Spouse could tell me that Younger Daughter and Olaf were out for a walk; I'd buy it. Then I'd eat dinner and fall asleep in front of the White Sox game. (The way they've been playing on this current five game losing skid, it's the only way to watch.)

I'd go to bed eventually. Maybe I'd ask, "Is everybody here?" Long Suffering Spouse would only have to tell me "yes" and, if she'd already closed the door to the kids' room, I'd believe it.

I wouldn't necessarily see the kids on my way out in the morning either; I don't always.

If my wife put her mind to it, I wonder how many days my grandchild could be in the house before I figured it out? Two? Three? A week?

I actually saw Younger Daughter this morning (she was up getting Olaf out to his very early morning interview) and she was still 'great with child' then. But tomorrow?

Well, I'm sure I'll find out eventually.....


Anonymous said...

For some reason this post hit a funny bone on me and I actually laughed out loud twice while reading it.

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

lss is a very smart woman!

smiles, bee

Mother of Chaos said...

LOL! I do the same thing to my husband sometimes. Although I don't think I could pull off hiding a grandchild from him just yet. (Always good to have a goal, right?!)