Curmudgeon's Laws

The first in an occasional series?

1. These laws will never be more popular or well known than Murphy's.


2. The farther away one gets from a problem, the easier the problem is to solve. (This is why, for example, bloggers and presidential candidates know exactly what to do about the budget, Afghanistan, Iraq,etc., etc., etc. and why presidents seem to have such a difficult time of it. This is also why I can solve every problem but those on my own plate.)


3. You can't do anything without doing three other things first.


4. By the time you've done the three other things, you will most likely forget what you set out to do in the first place. (This is why you often feel as if you've worked hard all day and have still done nothing.)


5. The piece of paper that you had in your hand five minutes ago and that you need right now will invariably be impossible to find.

I'll leave it you to evaluate whether these rules are truly universal. Feel free to conduct a lively debate in the comments.

In the meantime, have a Happy New Year -- and be careful out there.