Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Curmudgeon wallowing in self-pity... again

Every morning, when I get to the train station, I have a decision to make. Do I step on the train... or in front of it?

It's true what they say about how the coward dies a thousand deaths, while the brave man dies only once.

Yes, I'm depressed. But I'm only depressed because I'm broke. I'm very shallow that way. I'm particularly depressed at the moment because I'm more broke than ever, my prospects are dimmer than Ted Baxter on the old Mary Tyler Moore Show, and my credit card debt is quickly approaching double what I made last year.

And Youngest Son's first tuition installment is overdue.

And, to top it off, yesterday I once again forgot to pay my minimum on my Target card.

But the crisis has been averted, at least for a few days, because I put my last $20 bill on my CTA card this morning.

If I hadn't, the card would have run out tonight when I went through the turnstile. But now?

Well, let's put it this way: I haven't always been broke so I haven't always been depressed. But I've always been cheap. I can't very well waste the rides on the card, can I?


Anonymous said...

NO you cannot. Curmy I hope you aren't serious about being this depressed. If so I will find someone for you to talk too..This one hit a nerve with me because last Oct. while visiting my brother who lives outside of Trenton in a suburb called Hamilton N.J. we went to the Hamilton train station to catch the commute train into Penn. station in Manhattan and we walked out on the platform right after (seconds) a man literally threw himself in front of a fast moving Amtrak. I can't tell you how terrible this was. Please get this thought out of your head as nothing is as bad as that. Hell I have never had money Curmy and I just keep plugging away at life. You can too! But I am dead serious about finding someone for you to talk too!!

The Curmudgeon said...

I actually did reach out to someone in February -- it was probably a mistake. They could hook me up with someone, they said, but even at a 'discount' rate, there was no way for me to justify that. Besides, my depression is situational, not organic. I just have to find a way out of this hole I've been in now for a couple of years... somehow.

I didn't mean to upset you.

But sometimes I have to vent.

Patti said...

HI Curmy,

As you can see I've been reading some of your posts - when one works at home one can do stuff like this.

I hope your depression is a passing state. That's good it is not organic.

I know about the financial stuff.

We are filing for bankruptcy. Ralph has been dealing with the lawyer, not me.

I may blog about it at some future date.